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My Current View on Alcoholism

I've seen the grips of alcoholism too closely for comfort. I wrote this when I was in that shattered place where you have to witness someone you hold so dearly to your heart sink into the wrath of alcoholism. I knew my words wouldn't reach my loved one, so instead I poured them out onto tear soaked paper. Detach with love and then do whatever you can to feel better. That night I wrote this:

It’s a thief

It steals you away and tricks you into believing that your better

But it’s also a liar

And you are not a light when you follow her down the bottle

Your ego flares with a desperate aggression that is all-consuming

It’s a thief

And steals your light

Steals your integrity

Steals your soul

It’s unbearable to witness

You’re drowning and we MUST try to save you

We throw you a life jacket

But you refuse to reach for it

You’re sinking deeper

You’re refusing to grab on to the life jacket for longer than a fleeting moment.

At first you grab on and my breath comes back to my body

But then you let go

For no reason

You let go.

Why do you keep letting go?

Every time I throw you the life jacket my arms get weaker

You stop noticing the life jacket

My arms throw it but I’m too tired

The fear feels normal

This game has grown tiring

Why are you choosing to drown yourself?

There are people that fucking love you and want you and need you and yearn for YOU.

But you let go of the life jacket.

You don’t want to be you.

So how do we stop this game?

Do you all of a sudden grab onto this life jacket that I continue to throw, or are you going to never resurface someday?

Because your choices have impact

And your choices hurt

People are here, waiting, but you choose to follow her- the thief and liar - down the bottle

Instead of grabbing on and floating to safety

With those that love you

We are all silently hoping you don't choose her again.

And we will always love you

But you are slowly drifting off...

away from you

Drifting away at sea with the lying, stealing slut, otherwise known as alcohol.

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